Bitches And Bullets…

I accidentally walked into some kind of weight lifters meeting at Starbucks the other day while wearing a sleeveless top!

One of the females looked at me and my flappy arm and  kind of shook her head.

So in a sign of solidarity I raised my arms and flexed my guns.

She came over and pulled on that flappy little thing on my underarm, which shocked me a little.

HER: “What’s that?”

ME: “It’s where I keep the bullets bitch!”



Prom Season Corsages Will Whet Your Appetite…

kfc-corsage-hed-2014_0Leave it to KFC, the world leader in fast food chicken, to come up with the perfect Prom corsage.

The Drumstick Corsage will be available in regular or crispy batter.

Actually,I totally dig the drumstick thing because, who the fuck in their right mind would want to wear a thigh or a breast on their wrist!





Underwear as a tool…

Convo overheard at Starbucks just now by two stud-ly body builders:

BB1: Yeah, the girl I had over last night left her panties on my pillow.
BB2: Really, dude?
BB1: Yep, I even called her to ask if she did it on purpose and she said, yes, because now she has to come back to get them.
BB2: Right on Bro!


I do that all the time too because it saves me from having to get out of bed to find a sock to stuff in the hubby’s mouth in case he snores.