Vagina’s Have SuperPowers…


…or so I’ve discovered over the years.

No—they can’t make beds or cook a nice dinner, nor can they do the laundry, fold clothes, locate missing socks or vacuum.

If they could that would make the vagina the world’s most perfect multi-tasking machine.

Everyone would want one, even men.

Not that they don’t already want one whenever.

They can’t change a tire, weed a garden, grocery shop, or get the children off to school.

They definitely can get some things off but it ain’t the children.

They can’t play cards or bingo (although I think I’ve heard mine scream that word out loud from time to time).

We women tend to take very good care of this wonderous man/women-trap. We groom it, primp it, and prime it to function on a moments notice. Hell, now we can even bejewel it. We can make it glitter and glow like a showpiece, like it’s supposed to be seen and not heard.

WHAT THE FUCK?

I tried this a few times but I guess my idea of a joke didn’t coincide with hubby’s idea of a joke.

The first adornment was placed just above my pubic hair right after I decided it was time to tighten up the little bugger.

Yes…I had a penchant for Kagel’s a few months back after I notice that every time I sat down I’d hear that weird sound similar to a tire losing air.

That  sparkly red slogan read:

SHOP CLOSED DUE TO MAINTENANCE!

Hubby did not take this one well!

As soon as I’d accomplished all I’d set out to do that slogan was quickly replaced  with:

GRAND RE-OPENING

NEW LOOK! NEW PRICING!

So okay, hubby wasn’t thrilled with that one either but at least it didn’t stop him from shopping, although if I remember correctly, I do believe he waited for the first “SALE–Save 50%” sign to go up. He’s no dummy! He still likes a bargain when he can get one!

PERSONAL WARNING HERE:

WHEN BEJEWELING–NEVER, EVER USE SUPER GLUE UNLESS YOU NEVER EVER PLAN ON REMOVING SAID SLOGAN! JUST TRUST ME HERE!

I guess what I’m trying to say it that we forget these powers. We allow our ‘Gina’s’ to lose priority! We know it gets weary sometimes when we lose ourselves in mundane chores and everyday occurrences that cause you think about anything other that ‘workin’ it.

So what we have to do is reconfirm what benefits we can ascertain from the use of our well experienced man-cave?

What doors can it open?

What perks can it entitle us to?

How many times do you have to engage it to wreak a reward?

Yes…there are so many questions surrounding the Super-Powers of that little bugger it’s mind-boggling but in my book, re-evaluation periodically is mandatory.

Of course without constantly researching what’s in and what’s out we may never get all the answers…right girls?

So let’s break it down here.

The vagina lives in the area of our body that contains most of our breakable parts so I know it’s intelligence level, based on that fact alone, means it can’t possibly be the smartest tool in the shed, but then again, maybe smart’s not always best.

Maybe this is where that phrase ‘you dumb c@#t’ comes from. I mean, why else would anyone use this idiotic vulgar slur if it didn’t have something to do with the intelligence level of a woman’s vagina?

When you’re young, horny, and single, it can be used as a social-networking  tool while you’re trudging through the heap of men looking for Mr. Right.  After you find said man you learn to appreciate the fact that it will willingly work with you and you alone accepting only those sacrificial sperms you choose in order to create offspring.

It knows there are rules and acts accordingly.

This puckered looking pock mark can stop a man or woman dead in his or her tracks no matter how old you are. It can raise a penis as easy as it can raise a heart beat. Hell, it can even raise an eyebrow when it makes a surprise appearance. This we know for a fact from all the YouTube action surrounding those rare and spectacular celebrity accidents!

It can change the mood of a day (or night) in under thirty seconds.

It can put a smile of your face and keep it there all day.

It can also keep a smile on someone else’s face all day if you know what you’re doing.

Yes, during my 5o-some years of working this anatomical wonder I’ve learned a thing or two along the way.

Here’s a perfect example!

Just the other day hubby seemed down and out, which happens so rarely I knew he really needed my attention. I guess you could call this the emotional trickle down theory. You give a little, you get a little.

What the problem was I have no idea, I just knew something had to be done to rectify the situation.

This was one of those ‘not-so-uncommon-times’ where a ‘mercy fuck’ was in order. Yes this was definitely one of those occasions where I had to step up to the plate and use my feminine healing powers.

The mere mention of a romp in the sack immediately put a sparkle in his eye, a skip in his step, and a boner in his pants.

LET’S FACE IT GIRLS, WE ALL KNOW THE TRUTH!

It doesn’t take much to pull a guy out of any kind of funk when you know which Band-Aide to apply!

So you must be wondering what did I get out of it? I’ll tell you what I got out of it.

New shoes, a haircut, a night out on the town, and a much happier guy on my arm!

So this just proves my point!

There is no question that a woman’s vagina has Super Powers.

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