Dry Skin Versus Oily Skin…

…is another thing we menopausal women have to deal with.

I for one am of the dry skin group. Just my luck, right?

I’ve become the fucking Sahara Desert inside and out.

If I manage to drool at night, I don’t get upset. No Way!

I become elated, overjoyed, wrought with happiness, because that means my body went into overdrive during the night just to produce that one little droplet of moisture. It’s a sign from God that there’s still hope that one day my moisture will return!

If I spit when I talk, I thank God!

I scream halle-fuckin-lulia at the top of my lungs because it’s possibly going to be one of those glorious days where my tongue’s not stuck to the roof of my mouth or the back of my teeth.

Yep! I’m like a long hot summer day. Dry with no chance of rain!

When hubby get’s that look in his eye, you know, where he’s staring at my vagina, I have to remind him that:

“Just because something looks like an oasis–it doesn’t always mean it is an oasis!”

A friend of mine always complains about how oily her skin has gotten since she hit menopause.

If that were me, and that oil made its way to my

vagina, I’d get down on my fucking knees and

praise God!

This of course is all good news for the pharmacutical companies though. Now they can expand their profit’s by developing new products like ‘gina juice‘!

There’s already a plethora of new products out there for those of us who are atrophying, drying up like prunes as we venture through this wonderful phase we loving call menopause.

I tried one of those new ‘HOT lubricants’ a few weeks back. Let me tell you!

I can now officially say that I smoke after sex.

…to be continued!