Bed Mates…

…means you’re about to, or are thinking about taking your relationship to another level.

But should you?

Are you sure you’re ready? Are you willing to give up your ‘I don’t have to answer to anyone’ lifestyle?

The answer may be yes in some cases and no in others.

So, say you’ve got a new Beau and you’re trying to decide if you should take your budding bond to the next level… to the bedroom. For sex. For intimate relations. For partnership. And last but not least, a non self-induced orgasm!

Sure, he’s hot! He’s got the Adonis body hidden beneath the layers of his clothing. (Which of course makes you double check yourself naked in the mirror whenever possible.)

His eyes look deep into yours and you feel that hot lava burn in your groin.

So there you are.

You’ve got two choices here.

You can sit there wondering if you’ve got a urinary tract infection……or…….you need to decide whether this guy is really turning you on? You’re on the fence and you don’t know which side you’re going to land on but you’re ready for something to happen!

I digress…

His lips beckon to be smothered by yours, and the sexy scenes playing out in your head make you want to high tail it back to your place. You want something hot between the sheets but you’re not sure you’re willing to throw in the towel on your hot water bottle just yet. You have to decide whether having hot skin versus your non-verbal companion is worth loosing your freedom over.

But there you are wondering is this guy really sex-mate material?

Great sex, at least the kind you want to have more than once with the same person, isn’t just about having skills. That kind of hotness between the sheets grows cold fast.

Really memorable partners are all about tuning into your needs and being willing to please in all the right places. This is the first test that will allow you to figure out if this guy is really into you or if he’s a complete selfish bastard.

Thankfully, there are some signs that will give you a little insight as to whether or not your new love interest is worthy of becoming your next lover.

Let’s see if your new hunk looks promising for the role.

First of all, a guy who opens the car door for you is showing you that he’s willing to be polite, at least for the moment. Sometimes he just wants to watch you get out of the car in that ‘far-too-short-skirt’ you decided on to taunt him with.

Best advice: don’t linger with your hand on the frame of the car because he’s already planning his next move, especially if he’s already glimpsed your undies during the car exit. Hey, it seems to work for celebrities.

It’s likely if you don’t move fast enough you might just lose a finger. His mind is on overdrive. He’s already embedded your lacy panties in his head. So pay attention to keep yourself from being an emergency room statistic.

His next move, if you’ve decided to dine together, will be to pull your chair out. What determines if this is great is based on whether he pulls the chair out first and then you sit, or whether he pulls the chair out as you sit. The latter will likely leave you flat-out on your ass on the floor in the middle of the restaurant. This is what determine’s whether or not he’s serious or whether he’s a perpetual jokester. Most women will prefer the gentleman side to the moronic prankster that may be lurking just below the surface. This is especially so now that people are dropping their health coverage due to economics.

So…maybe you’ve gotten through dinner unscathed.

What’s next?

You arrive home after the date. You’re sitting in the car wondering whether or not the first kiss is coming or whether or not you’re about to tell him ‘Adios Muchacho’. You turn so you can take a really good look at his puckering lips. You move in just close enough to determine whether there’s anything about his lips that, may in the long run, require medical attention down the road on your part. Okay, so you’re satisfied that there are no open wounds so you’re good to go. But is it a good idea? Was he what you thought he be? Did he treat you like you expected or did he leave you with a bad taste in your mouth?

This is where you have to decide whether to pucker up or not. This is where he’s deciding whether to fucker up or not!

He reaches over towards you. You close your eyes awaiting the lip smacker but realize he’s already run to first base on a bunt (dinner). Your nipple responds but your brain is screaming, ‘hey, wait just a bloody minute here groper!’

NOTE:  There is only one exception to this rule and that comes if you’re dating in your 50’s, 60’s or 70’s. Your date may very well have been going for your knee when he nicked the end of your breast, this is especially true when you’re sitting down. #gravitysucks

Does that touch mean he’s in it for the skin, or in it for the duration? If that ‘touch’ comes (A) too quick and too forcefully heading straight for your girls, then he’s in it for a possible one nighter. He’s looking for contact not content. If all you’re looking for is a ‘fuck buddy’ without all the trappings, then you’re well on your way if you stick with A.

If it’s (B) a slow move in, a caress, a touch of the hand, a stroke down your back (that stops before he hits the crack of your ass) he may already be thinking long-term. If you’re looking forward into the future, you might want to stick with B.

It’s decision time!

You’re in or you’re out!

What’s it going to be?

Were you looking for dinner and dancing? A stroll in the park holding hands? A few more stories under your belt before a toss beneath the sheets, or were you looking for a quickie that would satisfy your immediate wanton desires?

Are you willing to dive into the water without testing the temperature, or do you still have the life vest strapped securely around your torso?

So many bloody decisions, right?

Okay, so he may or may not have jumped the gun trying to run the bases before the ball has even been pitched, but you’re kind enough to let it go…


…because you’re still trying him on just as you would a new pair of shoes. You want to first determine whether they fit perfectly or whether they’re pinching the hell out of your toes together. Is the arch supporting you or letting your foot lay there sloppy and uncomfortable? Is he real leather or a cheap substitute? Is he a sharp pointy stiletto that may twist or break your ankle, or is he a strong, solid platform that will support you under the worst of circumstances?


The next thing you have to consider is consideration. If all he can do is talk about himself you’ll find very little room to shine. You’ll likely be competing for the mirror for the rest of your life. If however he asks you all about you before revealing one item about himself, there’s a good possibility that he’s actually thinking about you. He’s trying you on as well. Don’t kid yourself here, he’s probably checking out your lips too.

If you see a twinkle in his eye as he gazes into yours you’ll have to decide whether he truly likes you or is still buzzing from the alcohol he sipped at dinner. Like many men out there, alcohol may diminish the ability to get a hard on (or keep one) so this also factors in at this time.

(to be continued)


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