Airlines are now forcing Obese passengers to purchase a second seat on all of their planes. I just happened to be sitting next to one such passenger last week.
We were in Row 3, seats B & C.
Me: You don’t look very comfortable sir. Are you traveling alone?
Him: No…My better half is in Row 29 because they couldn’t find 2 seats together!
I just wrote a new book called “The Perks of Lubricant’s”!
My publisher said I’d have to file it under the genre…Non-Friction!
I hate them…I really do!
Every time I’m sitting in Starbucks, some girl picks me out of ALL the other women in the place and asks me if I’d like to buy a spa package.
NO!!!!! I don’t want to buy a fucking spa package.
She leaves but then I sit there wondering whether I look like shit or I look like I have money to spend?
There’s a lot of controversy over guns these days. This guy got shot 11 times by the police the other day in California right near where I live. I grew up in Canada. There, they only shoot you 8 or 9 times because of the exchange rate.
…leaves me wondering how to get the grass stains off my nipples?
…is working out just fine for me!
Just had a manogram and is feeling p.r.e.t.t.y good about it!
My girls are all a twitter about it.
My knees are not happy that they’ll have company!
My Menopausal answer on Wheel Of Fortune in regards to Pat asking me who is here with me in the audience:
Hi Pat. I’m here with my wonderful husband who has survived several assisted suicide attempts.
That’s what it’s all about…
Oh…and YES…those 3 words we need to hear, we want to hear, we love to hear every time we’re together…
“More Wine Darling???”